Planned Ignoring

Planned Ignoring is a strategy that stops reinforcing harmless, attention-seeking behaviors by completely removing attention.

Why It Works
Removes the reward: Many disruptive actions happen because a child wants a reaction (like a scolding, sigh, or eye contact). Removing the reaction removes the reward, making the behavior lose its power over time.
Breaks the cycle: If a behavior stops working to get a response, the brain stops choosing that action.
Extinction burst: The behavior may temporarily get worse before it gets better. Sticking to the plan teaches the child that the old way no longer works.

What to Do Instead for Safety
Prioritize safety first: Immediately separate the children to ensure everyone is safe.
Attend to the victim: Give your immediate comfort and attention to the child who was hurt, rather than the child who caused the harm.
Keep your reaction neutral: If you must address the child who hit or hurt, use a calm, firm, and minimal response (such as saying "No hitting" in a flat tone). Avoid long lectures, yelling, or big emotional reactions, as even negative attention can accidentally reward the behavior.